Becoming A Family (Matthew 12:48-50)

Today, we are going to consider how the church is a family. That means we are called to love, support, and encourage one another. Is that how you feel about these people, visitors aside? Why not if it's not, and how could we change that?

So far, we've looked at how the church is our identity and the church is Christ's body. The church is not a place we go to but is who we are once we accept God's grace. We are God's people. We aren't Alabamians, Republicans, Democrats, Southerners, Northerners, or any other label one might come up with. We are simply God's people. That's who we are. The church is the body of Christ which is intimately connected to Christ. We are the fullness of Christ, and he fills us with everything we need to glorify his name. We are joined together by the blood of Jesus and the Spirit of God to be God's family.

These descriptions of the church are a noticeable contrast to the consumeristic mentality prevalent in our society. The church is not a business. It's not like a store where we give and expect to receive. When we treat it this way, we lose the actual value of God's church. Too many people are leaving the church because the church is something they go to instead of something they are. Our goal in this series is to change our perspectives so that we can be the church and stop going to church.

The Club Mentality

There are a lot of similarities between a church and a country club. Both are a group of people with expectations for membership. Both offer events and activities for the members. Both are exclusive. They don't give full access to just anyone. In both cases, a community was created where everyone dresses similarly and has the same standards. They abide by shared core values that guide the community and help create a sense of identity. There may also be a sense of status or elitism in the communities. Country clubs and churches have quite a few similarities, but a country club is not a church because a church is a family.

Clubs and churches are fundamentally different in their purpose and function. Country clubs are focused on some worldly desire for gratification. They focus on finding joy in a hobby. Their purpose doesn't have a deeper meaning or purpose than temporary joy.

If you have been part of a club before, you know it can be a good experience. Our kids have been in Taekwondo, Soccer, and Basketball. Each of these felt like a club. We were coming together with people with similar interests in this sport or hobby. But there was no deeper connection than our interest in this one thing. The people who come together to worship God aren't supposed to be like that. We aren't supposed to be strangers with similar interests in engaging in spiritual things with similar beliefs about who God is and what Jesus has done.

The Bible calls us more than strangers joined to the same body.

Matthew 12:48--50 (ESV) --- 48 But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” 49 And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

Jesus tells us that those who do the will of God are his mother and brothers. He accepts them as his family. Isn't this bizarre? He would deny those his blood relatives to give attention to those who follow God's will. Coming into the group of God's people means that you are Christ's brother or sister. Those who put on Christ have a familial relationship with him.

What Is A Family?

When we think about a family today, what do we think of? It might vary from person to person. Some of us grew up in good solid homes with a mother and father, brothers and sisters. Maybe a few of you grew up as an only child. But others might have grown up in the home of a single mom or single dad. We might be a little bit confused. After all, families have some bizarre designs nowadays. What does it mean to be a part of a family?

Family and identity go hand in hand. Most of us share the last name of our fathers or mothers. We wear the same name to show who we belong to and who belongs to us. Whether we like it or not, we are known by who our family is. Sometimes, we have family that we don't want to be associated with, but we are associated as soon as we mention our last name. That's life with a family. But, if we are part of a good family, that heritage and connection is something we are proud of. It makes us who we are because, as a family, we are taught shared values and beliefs. We act similarly and behave similarly.

Families are meant to be where we go for emotional support, comfort, and encouragement when needed. As a family, my brother and I grew up together in similar situations. So, after high school, he came and told me what it was like. He helped me get through it without throwing my life away. Families are there for each other like that. We also provide physical support when one of us is suffering or down. Love should be stronger in a family than in any other relationship.

Leave Your Family

This love and connection in families create a sense of loyalty that is unparalleled. That's why Jesus' words are so shocking in Luke 14.

Luke 14:25--26 (ESV) --- 25 Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.‌

Jesus calls for greater love and loyalty toward him than our physical families. He calls for us to value our discipleship over our relationships with family. We live in a world that tells us our families are the most critical thing in life.

"Family is not an important thing. It's everything." - Michael J. Fox

This quote is used in many films today as well. It reflects our attitude toward family. It is everything, but the truth is that family is not eternal. The truth is that many people don't have much of a family. They have a broken family. For them to make a family, everything means they have nothing. Does that mean that there is no hope?

Family is great, but family isn't everything. Jesus calls for us to love him more than family to be his disciples. For some of us, that's easy. We are Americans and very individualistic anyways. We are known for rebelling against the status quo, or we have a family we aren't interested in staying with. That's the hardest thing we will ever have to do for others. We love our family and want to make them proud. This is an even bigger issue in the East, where there is a shame/honor system. If you convert to Christianity in some Eastern societies, you bring shame to your whole family.

This is not something that a club asks you to do. So when people view the church as a club, they hold on to their families and forsake Christ. The church family isn't a hobby club. It's a dramatic shift in life from having one immediate family to having a larger one that is more important and valuable than anything else because this family is eternal.

Gain a Family

Notice what Jesus says to his disciples in Matthew 19. He just told the rich young ruler to sell all he has, give it to the poor, leave his family, and follow him. He refused.

Matthew 19:27--30 (ESV) --- 27 Then Peter said in reply, “See, we have left everything and followed you. What then will we have?” 28 Jesus said to them, “Truly, I say to you, in the new world, when the Son of Man will sit on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29 And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life. 30 But many who are first will be last, and the last first.‌

In this text of Matthew 19, we see that Jesus promises we will gain brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, children, and lands a hundredfold.

Please understand me. When we accept the call to come to Jesus, we do not necessarily have to abandon our families. Jesus, in many other places, calls for us to honor our father and mother. But when the choice comes down to doing what your family wants you to do or being a disciple of Christ, we must confidently choose Christ. When we do that, we will be part of a much bigger family.

I have a friend who is a preacher now. He came to Christ through a girl he met at college. She was just spreading the seed, and God opened his heart. When he accepted the call to be a disciple of Christ, his family hated it. They would go out and do fun things on Sunday, and now his desire to attend the worship assemblies ruined their fun. They became violently opposed to him and religion in general. It was so bad that a church member told him to stay with them. His family threatened to kick him out of their home just for attending church services and wanting to follow Christ. This was in Minnesota! We see that the church became a family to him.

Application

Do you consider all who love God's will to be your family? If the church is supposed to be a family, what does that mean? What would that look like if we lived like we believed that? When we have someone going through a hard time and needing emotional support and encouragement, we should want to be there because that's my brother or sister. We should be able to have hard conversations with them because we know that there is love between us. This fellow member of Christ's body is connected to me on a deeper than surface level. Like any family, we may have disagreements and differences of opinion, but ultimately, we love and respect each other. We know we can count on each other to be loyal to the Father and our elder brother, Christ.

Jesus is telling us what to do and how to live our lives in a way that won't throw our lives away. He's an excellent big brother. ‌

Look around. How many people have been coming here for months or years without becoming more than strangers? We don't have that many people coming to this congregation. Since I've been here, I've noticed some of you trying to connect with new people. That's great! There is no reason for us to be strangers anymore. We need to get together more often outside these walls to get to know one another. We should not be strangers anymore.

Ephesians 2:18--19 (ESV) --- 18 For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. 19 So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God,‌

We are fellow members of God's household. Even if someone else here grew up in a vastly different situation than you or I, we are in the same family. We must act like it. It simply means that we should have a deeper relationship with one another to have a sense of loyalty. Old and young, wealthy and poor, educated and uneducated, should all relate to one another in Christ.

The thing about the church being a family is that there should be a significant shift in our thinking. Now we don't just have one brother. We have multiple brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers. Receiving the love of God should make our hearts swell so that we can love more and be a part of a larger family.

Bear Burdens

Galatians 6:2 (ESV) --- 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.‌

When we become a member of Christ's church, the law of Christ compels us to bear one another's burdens. If a brother or sister is struggling, would we sacrifice our leisure time to help them? If you were struggling and shared it, how many brethren would come to your aid? If that number is low, why would you say that? Are we too busy with our own lives to help our brethren? ‌

Bearing burdens is what family is all about. If someone is rejoicing, the family rejoices. But if someone in the family is suffering, all the family is suffering with them. When we aren't bearing one another's burdens, we are in a club instead of a family.

In the first century, we see Christians willing to give of themselves. They aren't just looking out for themselves and their immediate families. They are sacrificing their children's inheritance to allow brothers and sisters to stay in Jerusalem and hear the word of God for one more week. They bore one another's burdens for spiritual growth and increased strength.

Forgive

Ephesians 4:32 (ESV) --- 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

When it comes to family, a bigger love can mean a deeper hurt. The more we open ourselves up to one another, the more we expose ourselves to pain and suffering. Those we love and admire in the church family will break our hearts. That doesn't mean we can forget about them because they aren't our "real family." The hurt that we feel is the same hurt that we have put God through on countless occasions, and he calls for us to be merciful, and he has been. If we still call God our father, then that brother or sister who repents is still our brother or sister. It takes time to heal relationships, but we should seek for the relationship to be healed.

Do you struggle to forgive your weak and fallible brethren? When a sister gossips about you behind your back, do you decide to never talk to them again? When a brother lies to you and wants to make things right, do you stop trusting them? We must be willing to forgive our church family and believe that our family can change.

In the church at Corinth, there was some major sinning between brethren. A set of brothers were about to go to court over something. Paul says, "Can you not trust someone else in your spiritual family to make a judgment here?" He also says, "It's better to suffer the wrong and be defrauded than to take the matter to judges outside the church." Do you see that this has been going on for a long time? In spiritual families, there are issues just like in physical families. We should be able to trust an eldership or at least the leading men or women in the congregation to judge these matters and help us come to a resolution.

This is a distinguishing mark that makes us different than a club. We love each other enough to forgive each other like family. We don't move on to another club with more perfect people; we don't just try to keep to ourselves to avoid hurt. We keep loving and caring for flawed people knowing that it hurts sometimes.

Stir Up Love and Good Works

Hebrews 10:24--25 (ESV) --- 24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.‌

It's not about me. In a family, it can't be all about me. It has to be about what's best for my brothers and sisters. If everyone has that mentality and puts away their narcissistic behavior, love would increase, and we would find the strength to glorify our Father.

Like any family, we are stronger when we work together and encourage one another. At the end of the day, we accomplish more, and our Father's name is glorified. Isn't that our goal?

Conclusion

Joining a church family can provide a sense of belonging and support, even in difficult times. If your family rejects you for finding spiritual hope in Christ, know that the brethren here will welcome you with open arms. If you have been a part of a church family in the past, but they have hurt you, remember that everyone makes mistakes. No family is perfect. Churches may have treated you like an employee or a customer. Perhaps you were a club member who broke one of their made-up rules and was excluded. We don't want to do that to anyone. The goal of our church community is to foster growth and spiritual development, helping individuals to make fewer mistakes over time. If this aligns with your values and goals and you have submitted your life to Christ, we want you to join us and strengthen us.